Running High

Monday I ran 7 miles on a treadmill. Three months ago I could barely run 3. And if I did actually make it to 3, I would stop at least twice. Monday, running 7 was almost a harder challenge to me than I think the half marathon in February is going to be. Mainly because running for over 30 minutes on a treadmill is SO BORING. But I did it. I mean, it wasn't fast. And it wasn't pretty. And I stopped once. BUT afterwards I felt so happy and accomplished. And it made me reflect on the past year a half. 

I've always been a goal-oriented person. I define my own success by achieving my personal goals. Once I reach them, I set new ones. And I've been pretty lucky thus far in my life because most of my biggest goals that I set for myself I accomplished. 

Once I got to law school, though, I had one of those *news flash* moments - everyone here is just like me. Everyone has super high goals. And everyone works really hard to achieve them. (I am not at all saying that the people in my life before law school didn't set goals because they totally did. And everyone I've been close to in my life has without a doubt helped shape me and push me to reach my goals). But this was one of the first times that the people I was around were working towards the same exact goals as me. 

When everyone is working towards the same goals, that means that not everyone can necessarily achieve them. Because there are only so many slots for those goals. And in law school, it's usually called the curve. Since all classes are on graded on a curve, that means only a very small percentage of people can get A+'s. Or only a small number of people can land that prestigious U.S. circuit court judicial externship after law school. And law review only has small number of spots. And landing a biglaw job as a 1L is basically like winning the lottery. 

Basically, what I am trying to say is that it is easy to get discouraged in law school if you don't accomplish a goal that you sought out to accomplish. And usually, people are disappointed more than one time during their 1L year and many more times before they graduate. Therefore, it can be easy to fall into a funk where you almost forget the good feeling of accomplishment for a few months on end. This is perpetuated by the fact that the only feedback you get is on your final - so you really don't have any idea how well you are doing for 4 months out of the semester. 

But running 7 miles on the (effing) treadmill brought me back to one of those accomplishment highs that I have so craved for the last year and a half. And it really made me realize that this half marathon is something that I need to do for myself, for my personal and mental health. It's centering me and reminding me that I can do anything that I put my mind to. And I also think that it will help me in school because it will bring me that sense of accomplishment and confidence that I have seem to sometimes forgotten. 

So for that, thank you, treadmill. 

I swear that I ran 7. But I accidently ended the run .5 miles in so I had to start over.